snappy happy

the delight

kyoto is till beauty


my feet still ache






and my heart still calls for those it misses



alot of sightseeing has been done.
internet is still rare.

little time left.

so expensive!
everywhere is.

i have spent many of my moneys.



i still cant get over the fact that people can SMOKE inside here!!
it seems like a distant memory when this was still in allowed in nz.



please comment. if you read. twill make me feel more at home.


i also uploaded some happy snaps to le facebook.

cheeeeck them ouut.


ill try add some now too.







hearts.
misses.
hugs.
and kisses.

beeaauutyy

kyoto

is

beauty.

we are staying with roses cousin

his name is aaron

he is a lovely guide to this glorious city.

tomorrow i will get my fringe straight.

(shhhhhhh)

because my ghd doesnt wooork.

boooo booooo booooooooo

i purchased a polaroid today.

and i love it.

we went to a temple.

and made vegetable yakisoba for dinner.

it was so yummy :)

japan still doesnt feel real.

there are crows everywhere.

where are scarecrows when you need them?

here!

we arrived!

in JAPAN.



my pack weighs a TONN
but im having lots of fun!


rose and i made it to our hostel last night
and met other foreigners on our way


sleep was amazing!
after unseuccessfully trying to nap many times on the plane



its raining.
boo!!

and tonight we maybe will go to kyoto


so its all very exciting!!



i am hoping to find somewhere to store my ski stuff for three weeks till when my job starts.



this is also looking unsuccessful!



it still hasnt sunk in that ill be here for atleast 6 months.
crazy.
crazy.


i dont know when its going to hit me.


maybe when i start to miss you all way more than i do now!!



i shall get round to contacting soon.

disaster

packing that is.



how do i have so much stuff?


why cant i part with any of it?






why did i work yesterday?























how do i have no time??????

wild

last night.



max
celebrated his birthday.

his 21st birthday.


where the wild things are
was the theme.



and there sure were some wild things out there.


i left my camera at home.
silly me.

so i have to wait for heidis.






hi matt!

i hope you found me!

(how is work?!)




JAPAN
is in a few days.



only a few.
two!!!!


wholey crap.



but with passport AND visa,
i am feeling positive!!



tonight,
i shall have festivities at my house.

in order to say so long to people.


i hope kacchan and my other flatmates dont mind!




kacchan is currently in the lounge packing up my things like my sewing machine

whilst i am lazily in my bed.
talking to heidi.




I MUST PACK UP MY ROOOM.

re-colour

black.


im excited.





soon it will be back to normal...




work is taking over my life.

and i fear i will not see people before i leave.







two of my dear classmate friends have left for overseas already.


more to follow.


(including me)






japan

4days





FOUR

this is quite insane


im excited.

and also really scared.

and nervous!




tomorrow,
i get to pick up my passport from the embassy!


with the visa in it!!!
(i hope!!!!)




this is very very good news.


which means i go for atleast 6 months.



infact.
i have even purchased my ticket home.


12th of may.

get excited guys!



(except not too excited, because i hope to extend this to november)



i dont know how i am going to pack up my room in such a short amount of time.


i have far too many belongings.
its quite shocking.
and i cant part with any of them!


gasp.




i keep going to familiar places.

thinking i may see you there.


then i realise this is not possible.





as you are not here.

for hannah

hannah,
requested a blog.


sooooooo

here it is!

just pour you.




today,
mel
hannah
and rose all have an exam

zam
zam

zammm


the last of the last!



and then fun times to be hadd.




last night,
eleanor made me a delicious dinner.

it was amazzzing.
with beautiful decorative settings.


(roses, fairylights and candles)


i also had a few drinks with some familiar and some new faces.
added to the delightfulness of the evening.



today.
i am not at work
(YUSS).


and bumming round has been taken to a new level.


i must must must go to uni and the embassy.

must.

and get some new stockings.

ahhgrhr.


i love stockings.

looove.



this time next week will be the day before i go to japaaaaaaan.

wtf.





so sooon!!!

a sliver of freedom

have you ever heard me speak of how much i dislike the song
'party in the usa'?

mainy i think its the miley.



matthew hope
(from artisan guns)

did a cover of this.


AMAZING.


this is itttttttttttt.







anyways.
i like it.

which suprises me.



it actually doesnt.

because if he covered anything
its highly likely i would love.



i managaed to get myself the day off tomorrow.

which is good.

there is many things to do.



many many.

but how do you choose what gets priority.






work soon. boo.





i created a new blog
called
'delightfullywonderous'

where i post snippets of some lovely lyrics.
(and a video if it is to be found...)

sooo cheeeccckkkkkk it out.
its all linked to this page also.




last night.
hannah came over.

she brought with her lots of delicious treats.


and kept me company.

and that was really really nice.



i feel so verry verrrrrry bad.
as she was meant to be studying.

and she didnt get anything done.


(so thankyou for sharing the evening with me)







and also,
you.

youu.


yooooooouuuu.




your silence has pretty much ruined me.
so,

thankyou for that.

slightly scary

japan!




its so soon!!!


and i am freaking out slightly.


about it all.






mainly the visa thing.


and trying to see everyone before i go.



and do little things like pack etc


and clean up my flat
(which, at this stage will take me WEEKS).




i'm up early today!!

i set 3 alarms instead of the usual two.


and i set them early.

just incase i slept in.





i STILL havent made a trip to the supermarket.

so for breakfast again i am enjoying a delightful cup of water.



i could go to the supermarket as we speak.

but that would just be too practical.




i cant keep these eyes of mine open.



how am i going to stay awake for the 9hours of my shiiiift.
and then
party!!!



thats what id like to know....





i finally put some petrol in my car yest.

poor rufus had been without it for too long.





also,
in the last 35 mins
i have decided


that

somethings are just not worth thinking of.



even if it hurts to not think about it.




or if it hurts once you remember.






all in all


thoughts are gone.


for now atleast.





AHSHGHJDGLJJJDLSKX!

except they so arent!!


even now i just stopped writing.


and it was in the back of my mind.







this is going to be much harder than i thought.....

late

fock.






its 11.57



and i start work 2 minutes ago!!!









i cant believe i slept through my alarms.





again!!!!!!!!!



DHFGHZGFJLFNEWDJFKDFIRWNFMXI!!!




and i tried to have cereal for breakfast

and i only have a drop of milk.

and it was off.




and none of my flatemates have milk to borrow.



oh,
the sadness of life.


i also have no bread.


or anything really.




because i have had no free time.

because work has filled my life.



i finishes at 11.30 last night.

it almost killed me.





my phone is also about to run out of battery.


but i cant find my charger
boooo




and i NEED to put petrol into my car before work.


but i hate hate hate going to a petrol station without someone else there



its like a phobia i have....





but.

i must go to work.




ajhhgfgfsfdk.



lets PAR-TAY tonight though!

destination tokyo

yesterday evening

i went to clooney,

on sales st


with hannah and ties,
to have a drink with ties' cousin


ties also finished his exams yesterday.


so he understood the feeling of freedom...


haha.



i decided to celebrate. by purchasing a delicious cocktail


i open the menu,
and the first cocktail listed is


'destination tokyo'

like wholey crap.

so fitting.


needless to say,
i had to purchase.



wasnt as amazing as i had of hoped for.
but was still deliciously good.




we went to neighbourhood

matt and liam joined

and then to the dominion
to see mel

and she cheered me up with marshmallows!


so adorable she is.


then we all ventured back to my flat.
and had a cup of tea.



mmm
tea.




prior to this eventful evening,
hannah and i had niced hang time.


photos arent working...
(i think my card reader may be broken...)
GASP


and i dont recall where exactly the cord is.


tomorrow?
yes.



tomorrow.




i may go to sleep nowish.










work tomorrow.


boooo.





feel free to visit me.

i would actually really loves it.




lonely times work is.

continual thoughts

i wish things were simple



and
(people were)
easy to understand



although i know,

this would make life boring.




but

maybe things would work out better?


but then,
also maybe they wouldnt...









smile once more.

tell me i didnt ruin this......











it would ruin me

lovelycompany

today.


i have finished exams.


zam zam zam

over!





hannah and charlotte have decided to join me in celebrations
jessie will come soon maybe



i have cut ties with all other friends.

temporarily.



pushipushi we ate.



delicimo.

we are currently playing hair.

i like this.

because they are doing my hair....



i wish they would also dye it,
its well overdue.



they both also dont want me to dye it.


lies.



lucy agrees.


luce, i decided to start a group called
'you'll never see my natural hair colour again!'


will you join it?





yesh she says.....





tomorrow i start full time work
for two weeks.

blaaaah...












goodbye for now.

the last of the zamms

nerves.



fill my body.

a sick feeling.




i dont want to go to this exam.



i should be enroute right now.



but im not.

i know nothing.
what will i do?




damnitt.


going.





going.



















almost gone

pastseven

its past seven already





like seriously.

where the shiv has the day gone?





anthro is tomorrow.




gasppppp.



i have yet to even look at the notes.


(i should have gone out last night damnit!)

repeat of excessive caffeine?



i think not.





tomorrow.

i will
celebrate



the end of exams!!!





at my house

in the sun!
(yes please)




so come.
do.

i even prepared delicious eats.
(have the intention of preparing should i say)

and got some bottleys of wine and beer.



so come come and lets have a rememberring time.




i am planning the aftermath of my last exam
instead of studing for it,




this is not goooooood.



to
study
i
must
go

darkness

its getting dark....




luckily im not scared of the dark

















but actually


i am

overr

over

overr


overrr




overrrrrrr.



happy happy happy happy.










no sleep.
no doze.

riiiight?!


blaaahh.


just happy.


although it didnt go the bessst.
it went.

and is gone.



bye ellen!!
thanks for paying attention to the lectures i attended and putting them in the exam.
ill send you a postcard from japan!!!!



boooya.

music.
is all that is needed to make life complete.

ohh.

today.

is the day.



for twoseventy.


this is how it stands....


study:
zero

sleep:
minimal



well on track to having a very successful day.
as you can tell.....




blaah.

so sleepy.



and all i can think of is having a delightfully long sleep.







its quarter to seven.

and i need to go to uni


to get some
mean
extreme
cramming into me



then two more days.

until an everlasting holiday.



except work fills my life for a while.
but thats ok.


because theres always time.




this isnt true.


there is never time.





it slips away

drip




drip















drip

time. or a lack there of

time


is dripping by.

quite slow.



but oh so fast.



no time.

no time.





i cant write.

in the fear ill be heard.




but thoughts are about

hello sunshine. for real.

today its happening.


sun.





finally.



everything was begining to be just different shades of grey.










but now.

now things are looking up.

hello sunshine

i wish i could say this.

hello sunshine.


runis the park plans of the day.
probably just as well.

i would have napped.


i need a nap.

but must finish atleast unit one of jap study.
idealy i would do two by the end of the day.

but one will suffice


i have been here
(uni)
since the early hours of the morn


many different spaces i have ventured to,

to find the right study environment.


its never found.

i need a computer.
but dont want a lab.
or a laptop.

i want a space.
that isnt the library
(too silent)
or the commons
(too crowded and loud)


the arts caf seemed to do the trick for a bit.
but distractions keep arising.


i can tell you all about rice.
and how its an invented tradition.

would you like that?
probably not.


again i cant concentrate.

i need to kick this.




now for you i have an amazing cover
of an amazing song
by two amazing gals


get excited!!!!!!!!!!!

lack of colour (part 2)

i cant focus.

this is a problem




i need to do many many readings for
jap and anthro.....


but my mind is focused on other things.



and is not persuaded easily.


i have missed so much of the content for 270.
which makes me think this exam will be impossible to succeed in.


when i start studying for anthro,
i know im going to find the same thing.



nerd club tonight....
should i go?


potentially the last time to establish connections with japan
before i go to japan.


but hmmmmm.

life is unsure.







can we?
shall we?

adventure together
in the happiness
and the light


soon?

lack of colour

there are no buses.

why not?
this ruins lives.

it really does.




there was a man at the bus stop.
who kept swearing and grunting towards me.

needless to say, i wasnt the friendliest person back to him.
uuugrghh.


now i am at uni.

determined to study for exams.

two left.
and im gonna pass 'em.


today i went to kathmandu to prepare for my travels


the guy who worked there gave me a huge huge discount.
and for that i am very greatful!


he was also VERY helpful,
and for that i am also very greatful!



visa things are screwed up.

and i dont know if ill get it on time.

still havent got final confirmation of this job.
so i dont know what to dooo!!!



maybe just go for 3 months?

no money to survive though.


this isnt good.


not at all.



but still going to japan
so
happy
happy
happy



maybe ill do some readings now.

infact. i will do some readings now.....


yes....

part one

for lucy

(provided it works...)

to remind you of fun times and home.






and also.
hot.

(you know what i mean!)




after your much help, it worked!
the reason it didnt work before was because it wasnt in html mode?
blaaaah to meee.


anyways,
enjoy poppit!

halloween and happiness

general things are still unknown and confused.

but not nearly as much as i thought they were.


so,
this is good right?

a form of happiness has come.
as linguistics has finished.

and i definately passed.
the course.

without a doubt.


a celebration.
indeed.

after marketing, im glad i can feel ok about uni again,

for now atleast.

except hannah and i were both 'shitting bricks'
(her words not mine)
over the phonetics and phonology section.


what the shiv is a fricative?!?!

15% gone right there.
good bye A+.
not that the rest of the exam was perfect enough to get me an A+,
far from it infact,
but just vocalising how its actually not a possibility.




tomorrow. is. the. last. day. i. have. to. apply. for. a. visa.

shitsticks.

i left it veeeery late.

rose doesnt know if she wants to do a working holiday anymore.



yess yess you do rosie!!


and i have decided we both do. and we will both have fun.
tearing up japan on a working holiday visa.

it was halloween.

dress ups are necessary.

craazy times.
but,
fun?

these are examples...

maybe a clarification

me
not wanting to go to japan
was a strong feeling i had.

there was so much confusion
because i was confused.

are you part of the reason i find it hard to leave?

yes.
but only a part.


it was hard for me to imagine myself in a foreign land

when i didnt really know who myself was.



various things and actions cluttered my mind.
and i have been thinking and thinking
trying to de-clutter.


now.
well, recently.
i feel maybe i know myself more.

and i want to go to japan.
wholeheartedly.


although there is no doubt i will miss you.


see see.
no full reason.

so now all is clearer?

right....?



exam tomorrow.
freakking me out

zero time. zero time.


remind me to never drink again.

how can things just disappear from life.

regrets?
i dont think so....


tell me what happened
for i am confused.

tres
tres
tres
confused.


happy nice time?
always.




..........'hang out again?'