a fresh day

hello.

today is monday...


until about 5mins ago, i thought it was saturday.


i just made some coffee. regretably, its weak.
but still coffee. so its ok.


there was no milk in the breakfast room today. mattsun couldnt have his regular drink. i almost offered him the milk i have in my room. for coffee.
should i have?
i cant talk to him.



not this again.



work soon. i am tired. slightly maybe hung over? but actually probably not. just tired. yesterday at work was soooo sooooooo busy. we ran out of rice many times. and had to to take everyones orders, and do them when the rice came in.

i still find it amazing i can wake up at 5.30
i thought this wouldnt be possible.

i also found out last night that my bitchy room mate dislikes me. but apparently its ok, because she dislikes everyone....
and my other room mate now hates her. oh what a night drinking can do.
we went to the guys rooms again last night after we got home. but this time a different set of guys. they are actually really really cool. all in there thirtys. or late twentys. slightly hippee-ish. i really cant describe them. but everything about them. is fun.


i have to get ready for work now.......
boooo


(oh, and the internet just came back on!!! wheeeeeeeeeeee)

a delay in timing. but happy christmas!!

christmas day.

not actually christmas.
it was weird.

also a complete disaster. contact wise.
the internet stopped working. i had planned to call my family when i got home from work. tried. but obviously because the internet was broken(and still is), i was forced to find another way to contact.
i hadnt topped up my nz mobile, because i topped up skype instead. (and its cheaper to txt from there...). but you need the internet for that. foolsfoolsfools. i then decided, that dispite the costs, i would call off my japan mobile. oh, whats that?? IT CANT MAKE INTERNATIONAL CALLS.
total disaster!!!!! and the nearest international public phone is atleast a two hours walk away.....
needless to say. didnt get to contact family. and because internet is still down, still cant contact.
i have decided to write my blog in word. and save. so that i dont forget. and also so that i dont go insane. and feel like im actually writing to someone out there.
so on christmas, at work, there was no tackey christmas carols. no santa hats. no WHITE CHRISTMAS!!!!!! it was sunnier than its ever been in nz on christmas. ridic i say. all the snow is gone off the trees etc. booooo. so the next day it snows. i have decided to officially call that christmas.
i could be waiting a while though....

the guys also had a christmas 'party' in their room, for us i guess. it was more of a guys sit in a semi circle, girls sit in a semi circle, on opposite sides of the room. it seriously is like primary school. which is funny. well, so funny its fun. also, we are quite rebellious going where its forbidden. even though that rule is COMPLETELY ridic!!!! every one is over 20. in many cases late 20's. why cant boys and girls be in the same room?? i actually cant understand... but ohh well.

i got to talk to my 'crush' on christmas day. for the first time. he is pretty amazing. he eats my meat at dinner. well he has for the past two nights. he offered me his mandarin. he is actually totally adorable. and he doesnt speak very much english. at all. this morning, we stood next to each other in the dining hall, he was waiting for his milo to finish in the microwave, and i was waiting for my toast in the griller.
he doesnt eat breakfast. which i find weird. well not weird. just lame that im not sitting with him!! hahahahaha!!! i didnt say goodmorning. or even hi. because i was too shy.

tonight is isakaya night. for everyone at the dorm!!! wheeeee. its like a bar. and he is going. well, is supposed to be going.... wheeeee.


haha.

i must get ready for work. aka drink the coffee i am no longer allowed to bring into the breakfast room....

o.h.a.y.o.u

good morning.


its only 7.40am


and ive already been up for over 2hours.
my room mate wakes up at 5 to do her makeup. or rather she sets her alarms (multiple) for 5, and sleeps through them. we are the same. i need more than one alarm to get me out of bed. some times three. all on snooze. so eventually i shall wake up.
i put the music on shuffle. and neil young came on. followed by artisan guns and now muse. a verynice early morning selection.

this morning i made my first lot of coffee from the coffee machine i purchased last night! officially not a disaster!! and its amazing how it works. and and and. i had a decent cup of coffeeeeeeee. (actually, about 5).

also,
people told me i would be sore after my first day of boarding. BUT THIS SORE? ahhhh. it actually physically took me 10mins to climb down from my bed thismorning. my whole body aches. i am undecided if i should go back for anotherday. i know i should let my body rest. but i dont have anotherday off till after the 4th of january. BOOOO.
so, its like 10 days.
i might aswell just go up there and try. although, i dont want to run into the snowboard school teachers. as i said i would be back today. not going back today. paaaaain.

im just waiting for my battery to charge for my camera. it its with much regret for me to say that i have not been taking many photos. for the last week. THIS IS A DISASTER.
i will take many many more. to make up for this.


im going to get ready for today now.
until this evening....

disaster...

in manyways...

i tried snowboarding today!!!



eeeeeeeeee

i dont know which way i should go.
normal or goofy.
because both are hard.

i can use either board. but different ways.
so with each one, i put the wrong foot foward, so i would change board so i was still facing the same way, but had a different foot foward.
didnt work. i just went the other way...
am i strange?
maybe just really bad!!!

i decided also to get a lesson.
bad idea.
a) because i suck.
and b) because i dont understand japanese fluently.

needless to say.
disaster.

i could NOT get up! after i buckled in the shoe.
because it was on a slope. and the assisstant pretty much spent the whole time with me. because i was so bad!! hahaha. the instructor kept calling me jessica. i just thought he was using some word directed at me.... haha. they also kept saying 'stop stop stop stop' like i didnt understand. i understood. i just couldnt stop....haha.

i couldnt do the 'falling leaf'. still cant. ive been practicing all day!
i can officially go down a slope (only if its not steep) with the board facing foward. with out screaing. and bailing too many times. so i am quite happy. wheeeeeeeee.

i also thought that after my renshuu session, i should be able to go down one of the slopes.


not a chance. i did try. for about 20minutes. but it was so steep. and i was so scared. especially because the only thing i can do is go really fast, in whatever way the slope is sloping...
no turns. no stops.

i lie. my stop is me, falling.
so, tomorrow i was thinking of going back to the snowboarding school. and seeing if i am more able.
but im still undecided.
also undecided about whether i should wake up super early so i can have breakfast with the guys.
there is so nothing to do here, because we are so isolated, that we have designated each guy to a certain person. and because there are manymanymany more guys, than girls. our allocation is quite high....haha
my current desire is 30.
so i found out this morning...
and he works on the black diamond ski lift. the hardest most highest one at our resort. so theres no way im ever going to be able to become best friends with him. or even just friends.
if there was more to do, these silly crushes wouldnt exist.
but its fun. hiromi described the one she thought was goodlooking. and so we thought we knew who it was. apparently we got it wrong 3 times. she must be bad at describing people....
but fun.

this morning i woke up, and i went to go make a coffee. i thought it looked a bit strange. the water wasnt very hot. lame i thought.... so i tried to stir it with my finger. but it wouldnt work. i thought it was because the water wasnt hot enough.
soon realised i had purchased filter coffee.

i am such a fool!!!
(especially when it comes to coffee) - i recently purchased a packet of coffee, after much deliberation, only to find it was coffee beans. and i had no grinder.

ghahhh.
but tonight i went to the supermarket. and spent a bomb. my money is officially non existant at this stage. i got a bit of alcohol. (its SO cheap here!!). some apple fanta. milk. haichew. cereal. snacks. AND A COFFEE MACHINE!! wheeeee. because they dont sell plungers. lame. i also got band aids. and body wash. and bananas. and yoghurt. and various other things.
a pillow. a real pillow. not a hard bean bag.

is it lame that i want to go to bed at 9.15pm??

i think not.

i must go.




ittekimasu!

i will never get sick of this.....

its true!!

a) i love this song (artisan guns - autumn)
b) i dont think i will ever get sick of snow and all of its beauty

at this point in time,
my biggest decision to make is whether to go to sleep now ready for my early rise.
or write a blog entry.....

i am completely exhausted. but i shall write.

i realise now that i have been shitty with updating. and my posts contain no real information about what im doing.
so, i have created a seperate blog. for me.
and made this one about my trip. as it was originally created for.

so, japan.
well, nagano more specifically.
its pretty amazing here!
im on the sanosaka resort. which is 1 of 3, over looking a lake.
and they are all san alpina ones.
sanosaka is the only one in hakuba (the town im in). although, its the smallest one in hakuba. and the most far from civilisation.
all the others are massive. and have heaps of foreigners. and are close to the town center.
we are a 2hour walk away! quite ridic.
last night me, rose and our new english friend hiromi, went for a walk. it was really fun. we found a vending machine half covered in snow and ice and managed to dig our way through to it, and get a hot can of tea out.
hot beverages in vending machines are quite amazing.
although, too much sugar. blah.

today was our first day off. so we tried to get a ride in to town with the shuttle bus. but that failed. then we were trying to get a taxi (glad we didnt, so so expensive!!! like 60$!!).
and then the shacho (company president) offered to take us down in his car.
we were very shocked, but he insisted. so we went. he even took us in to the city hall to help us get our gaijin cards (cards to show you are a foreigner).
and then when it was time to leave, he was very concerned how we would get home later in the day, so he gave me his cell phone number. just incase we couldnt contact him via the resort!
he is so lovely! and really concerned for the well being of us.
which is nice. (more on this later).
so we explore town (all of 6 shops). and there was nothing we wanted. we found this amazing cafe. called gravity works. it makes its own stuff. like grows all its own ingredients and sauces and everything is made there.
the outside is picture perfect. and was covered in snow. the inside was wooden. and really homely.there was some really good live japanese music on tv. and she turned it over to put transformers on for us. rose and hiromi kept watching the freaking film. so we asked her if we could listen to music instead. and she put some englsh music on. probably thinking we spoke no japanese. as her english was A++. we asked her about where things were. and she was very helpful. and told us we needed to go to a bigger city center. so we caught the train to matsumoto. (there was NO snow!! and i felt like a fool in my horry snowboots)
the train ride took 2hours. and on the way we drove past the lake that our resort overlooks. it is an AMAZING lake.
like actually. we couldnt believe it. and it was nice to see the other san alpina resorts.
we did various things in matsumoto. electronic store (i WANT an slr!!!!!), supermarket, starbucks(ick),we got purikura(sticker photos), purchased some local produce, went to a sports shop. and i had to buy a ski/snowboard jacket. because i couldnt go to snow without...booo!!!
it cost me a boooomb! well 500ish dollars. for me this is tres expensive, as i pretty much spent the last of my freaking money! damnit. but i did meet a really cool sales assistant. who had been to nz, snowboarding in queenstown. and he gave me his card. and said to come back for a chat.
two cards in one day, what a rarity.
ha.
anyways. the jacket is bright blue. which is amazing. but has little skulls on it. not so amazing. its the only bright one they had. and i wanted a bright one, beacuse when im working, i can only see the bright ones. and they look amazing!
we almost missed our freaking train transfer on the way back. we went to the wrong platform, we were on one. and i asked the station attendant where the hakuba train was. and and he said platform four. so we sprinted up and down the stairs, trying to get for it in time. because there was NO time!! but luckily we just made it!!!
we were also planning on going to izakaya when we got back to hakuba. but we were so tired that we decided to get off the train at the station closest to the resort, so that we wouldnt have to back track.
we forgot that you cant get off the train at anydoor at a small stop. you have to go to the front carraige and give your ticket. so we almost missed our stop. we had a few drinks on the train ride. so outside wasnt so chilly.
our showers are communal. with the other females in the dorm. which at this stage, there arent very many. thankgoodness. because communal bathing means a room, with 6 shower heads and a bath. and everyone is naked!!! ahhh. i did not know about this! so was slightly freaking out. i have yet to shower with another. and i am dreading this day. alot.
i actually contimplated going 3months without a shower.
obviously this is not feasable! but luckily we take turns at the moment.
dorm life isnt what i expected. at the moment, i am in a four bunk room alone. rose and hiromi both have japanese room mates. which is lame. because my japanese is the worst, and i feel having a japanese room mate would be very benificial to my learning. but appaerntly there is one coming tomorrow for me!!! yay! i hope she is nice :D
there is not really any interaction with the males in the dorm. as there are massive doors seperating the male rooms and female rooms. and the only comunal place, is the dining hall, which is open from 6.15-8am and 5-8pm. and because the girls and guys do different jobs, we start and finish at different times. so we dont even get to eat together!!!
hopefully this will change. as there is a very good looking guy within the same walls!!! gasssp.
today we were so shacked/excited everytime we saw a foreigner or young person.
two things we are missing here at sanosaka.
hakuba has seven ski resorts. we are the smallest and furthest away from life (ahhh, i dont know if i have talked about this yet, because i just wrote an email to a girl in a different part of nagano, and cant be bothered scrolling up to check). so, all the other resorts are massive! have lots of people and AND and they have better ski slopes. BOOOO. haha.
obviously this cant be changed now. so i should shut up about it. i feel jipped!!
but obviously there isnt anything i can do about it, so i should stop complaining.....

today is a new day. i feel asleep last night...so i shall write more now...

i got a room mate! called yuki. she is cute!!!
she also doesnt drink. neither does tomo. the other who is coming to my room.
they worked together last season. so they are tight. i hope that im not left out when she does arrive.
working in the resturant is fun! people there are generally nice.
although, on some levels i wish i was doing a seperate job to rose. because our constant english talking is not improving my japanese.
hopefully now, i can study lots and lots and get my japanese up.
tomorrow. and the day after i have another holiday (after that, none till mid jan. GAAASP) not christmas not new years.... booooo.
but its a ok.
tomorrow i am going to start my journey to becoming a pro snowborder!!!
wheeeeeeeee. wish me well. i shall probably need it! haha.
i have decided to get lessons! maybe. if i can afford it.

food is a major here. they were shocked to find out i was a vegetarian. they dont like this. well, they dont like the fact that i dont eat the same lunch as them.
upon getting this job, i knew that they cant cater for vegos. so i knew i had to bring my own lunch. and i do. but to them its not lunch. just a snack. and because the bento that is made for us is 99% meat. the bachans i eat lunch with keep telling the boss that they are concerned about me.
i get asked many many times a day if i can eat certain foods. everytime i tell them, anything but meat and fish. and seafood.
today i find out that they have cancelled my bento everyday, and i can order from the kitchen everyday. every dish has meat in it but udon. so i plan to eat alot of the salad. (which is actually just shredded cabbage....). which is fine. because its delicious.
pretty much every night i eat rice, with soysauce and salad.
there is alot of meat. i like my dinner. but feel so bad for wasting the food!!! tonight was crumbed fish, and fish pasta.so i couldnt eat it. sometimes there are vego side dishes. so i dont want to cancel my dinners, because sometimes i can eat it....
breakfast, again, i have rice. and everyday i have a slice of toast and glass of juice. the other food is all dinner type things. which is too weird to eat that early.
tomorrow i plan to wake really early, so i can eat with all the guys! ha. my plan is fullproof.
there is one guy, who is great. and i plan on befriending him. hahahaha.
its something to do. i sound crazy. (its pretty much because i am....), but there is actually nothing to do here.
yesterday, every time we saw a gaijin, we wanted to hug them!!
ha! we live sad lives.

well, i shall go now. and i will try to update frequently.
tell me whats up with you!!! i love to hear!!!
x

its snowing!!!

in nagano.


just got here!!!!




a few hours ago!!!


wheeeee.





and the snow. sooo muuuuch!!! so so so!!!

and so it continues.

the day after disney land.

i travelled to a place called nikkou.

with my new friend skye.



it took just under three hours by train.

we started drinking before the train ride.

to make the trip fun.
and just cos.

it was disgustingly wet outside.
so we decked ourselves out in disposable raincoats
and gloves
which later turned into 'wet sponges'


we vaguely looked at a map of the area

and headed off into the misty afternoon
to find these tourist attractions that we heard were so great.


we found some stones.
the were maybe an attraction.

behind the stones, there were some stairs.
that lead up into the mountain.

we decided to take them.

it was actually so beautiful

and would have been so amazing had it not been raining.

this is the track we walked up.

not the safest of tracks. but fun.

after this photo.
i fell down the concrete stairs.

well slid down.

hurt like a biatch.

but i laughed it off.
(note the above drinking)

about an hour later,　
i slipped down a concrete path!

this time, i just sat there in the rain, on the concrete path

laughing.

for i was so embarrassed.

we found an amazing bridge. which i am convinced is a tourist spot!!!

we then decided it would be a great idea to head home.
it was cold and wet on the train.

and it took longer than we thought....

we got back to the hostel.
and decided against going to roppongi for an all night extravaganza.


instead,
we ate. drank more. and went to the hostel bar to use up our drink coupons.


my room mate julian came, with all his friends who had just arrived in the country.

i also met two gals from america
(who showed me their photos of nikkou, oh the spectacular!

shrines
temples
monkeys
waterfalls
gondolas

me and skye fully missed out!!!)

when the hostel bar closed, we all decided to go to the karaoke place.
$60 from midnight til 5am
all you can drink!!

a crazy old japanese\chinese man came with us.

he and i did a duet in japanese.


he fell asleep.


we all continued to sing and drink.

it was time to leave.

he paid for it all

it was over $700.



i CANT believe it!

(i also forgot to take my camera on this adventure, booooo)


the next day. skye returned home.
and i was lonely.
as i had spent every awake moment of the past 2.5 days with him.
and now i didnt know what to do.

also, when i woke up.
i was in so much pain.

i guess because the alcohol had worn off.
and the bruises had developed.

and i was hungover. extremely.

not the best combination.



i went to shibuya to meet nanae. it took over an hour to find her.
because of the craziness.

she helped me get a keitai.

and now i am happpeeeeeeee.
(you can email me straight to my phone!!!
kira-kira.bek@softbank.ne.jp)

we went to a pasta place for dinner.
and i ordered the only one without meat.

it came.

and had bacon in it.

nanae said to them, why why why?? the menu says no.

anyways. it was in the sauce.
and i didnt have to pay for it, thank goodness!

i did eat a bit of the cheese though

we parted ways.


the next day, i met with moe


she is so cute!!!
she hosted cass when we came here in 06.

we had lunch. and then we went to harajuku.

and went shopping.

and had purikura.

fuuuun!!!



yesterday, i spent some time with sachiko.

who i met in new zealand.


she took me on an exploration of the streets.

we went to harajuku. and got purikura.


we then went to shibuya.
and ate at an amazing cafe.

that was hidden away.

and so cute!!!



i spent so much money.


boooooooo.


so today,
i just chilled.


i also did some washing!!!! hoooooray!!!

clean clothes!!!!


although, i hope they dryyyy.


i just went to the convenient store.

and they had AVOCADOS!!!!
yum yum yum!!!

(hanaaaaaaah!!!)


so ofcourse i had to get one.

along with salad ingredients.



mmmmmmm.


i also got a strawberry melon bread

and its sitting in the fridge.

and my mouth is watering!!



haha.


i start my job soon!!! two days!!!



freedom will seize to exist.

new-ness

why, hello there.


its been along time.




today i come to you. with stories.
of adventures.

my trip to hokkaido was a amazing.
the snow mainly.

i returned to tokyo.

and had a few lonely days.
and it really hit me.

but now.

i am happy.


i talked to my friends back home



and made new ones here.


i convinced everyone to leave the hostel bar

and drink convenient store liquor
by the river side.


it was really nice.

as the city lights glistened on the water.


one of my new friends,
marc,

invited me along to disneyland the next day.



after much deliberation,
i decided to go.


and convinced skye to come also


i also bought a hat.

it kept me warm throughout the night.



later on, the fireworks began.

they were amazing.







(tbc)....

too much

to say.


too
much to write.





too
little time.






need to get photos to accompany.





soon my pretties.

soon.

no keitai. no mixi.

this made me sad.


but snow fell.




and this made me happy.


forest.
so dark.

and dense.


now awake
and less afraid.

than before.

so bright.
refreshing.

and welcoming.

snow
will do this to almost anything.





this explains my trip back to tokyo.





this means i am back in tokyo.


if only it wasnt so lonely.

the hokkaido snow

is yet to fall.

but apparently its going to today!!!!




eeeee


im in hokkaido!!

and its very exciting.


it took along time on le train.
well the shinkansen and then the train.



but i arrived.
last night.

and it was pouring with rain!



im very excited! because im seeing my friend!! that i havent seen in like 7 years!!

its crazy fun!



we went to mister donut and karakoe last night.
for hours.



was fun!!



hopefully ill get a keitai today!! yaaaay

mixi here i come!!!

悲しい？

i woke up this morning.


and realised

its only been two and a half weeks....

today...

it rained.

and its still currently doing so.





i got wet.

and lost.


but now i am back at hostel safe.
and slightly warm.


its still cold though.




i went to get purikura (sticker photos)
with nanae today!



it was so fun.

and i smiled.





i want to go to hokkaido soon.




maybe i will.



its very expensive.


i have to get off the computer.


i purchased some milk.

now i can take advantage of the free tea at the hostel






how delightful.

it is delightful!

the tokyo lights

they shine so bright.

i spent my last night in kyoto last night.
i sat infront of the massive christmas tree
on the sixth floor
at kyoto station

the music resembled that of a jewellery box.
it was delightful.

there were couples everywhere.
not so delightful.

the reason i just sat there, was because i could do not much else.
i accidently opened the coin locker
(for the second time that day)
and i refused to pay another 500円
so i lugged my pack. and tried to find a cafe to sit in to kill 5 hours.

i ended up in an italian resturant.
and had absolutely delicious foood!
their service was so fast and efficient
that it was hard to waste time.


i feel so fresh and clean.
(i just had the nicest shower.
actually it wasnt the nicest shower.
it was a bad shower. but a shower none the less....)

after a night bus ride
from kyoto

to tokyo.



i arrived at 5 am.

put my things into a coinlocker at tokyo station
purchased an all day pass
(which the attendant lied about because you can not get to asakusa with it)
and set off for shinjuku.
it was still dark when i arrived at 5.30

everything was closed. so i just wondered the streets.
taking photos.
trying to find a coffee shop open.


i eventually found one.


i purchased some mandarins.
sooooooo goooooooooood.
over priced.
but worth it.

then caught the train to harajuku and had lunch in yoyogi park.

lunch was mandarins.



crows still scare me!!!

their beaks are HUGE.


they could attack at anysecond.


i walked the streets of harajuku


wanting to buy so many things!!
but i held back.

(i have every intention of returning though...)

i ended up donating money to some form of earthquake victims
i could have made a purchase with that money.

anyways. after that i headed back to tokyo station to collect my bags and head to asakusa for my hostel.

i got lost.



the map in the lonely planet is not the best.


eventually i found it.

after half an hour.


(its only ment to take 5mins...)



anyways. computer time is limited.



i may go to hokkaido soon


wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

snappy happy

the delight

kyoto is till beauty


my feet still ache






and my heart still calls for those it misses



alot of sightseeing has been done.
internet is still rare.

little time left.

so expensive!
everywhere is.

i have spent many of my moneys.



i still cant get over the fact that people can SMOKE inside here!!
it seems like a distant memory when this was still in allowed in nz.



please comment. if you read. twill make me feel more at home.


i also uploaded some happy snaps to le facebook.

cheeeeck them ouut.


ill try add some now too.







hearts.
misses.
hugs.
and kisses.

beeaauutyy

kyoto

is

beauty.

we are staying with roses cousin

his name is aaron

he is a lovely guide to this glorious city.

tomorrow i will get my fringe straight.

(shhhhhhh)

because my ghd doesnt wooork.

boooo booooo booooooooo

i purchased a polaroid today.

and i love it.

we went to a temple.

and made vegetable yakisoba for dinner.

it was so yummy :)

japan still doesnt feel real.

there are crows everywhere.

where are scarecrows when you need them?

here!

we arrived!

in JAPAN.



my pack weighs a TONN
but im having lots of fun!


rose and i made it to our hostel last night
and met other foreigners on our way


sleep was amazing!
after unseuccessfully trying to nap many times on the plane



its raining.
boo!!

and tonight we maybe will go to kyoto


so its all very exciting!!



i am hoping to find somewhere to store my ski stuff for three weeks till when my job starts.



this is also looking unsuccessful!



it still hasnt sunk in that ill be here for atleast 6 months.
crazy.
crazy.


i dont know when its going to hit me.


maybe when i start to miss you all way more than i do now!!



i shall get round to contacting soon.

disaster

packing that is.



how do i have so much stuff?


why cant i part with any of it?






why did i work yesterday?























how do i have no time??????

wild

last night.



max
celebrated his birthday.

his 21st birthday.


where the wild things are
was the theme.



and there sure were some wild things out there.


i left my camera at home.
silly me.

so i have to wait for heidis.






hi matt!

i hope you found me!

(how is work?!)




JAPAN
is in a few days.



only a few.
two!!!!


wholey crap.



but with passport AND visa,
i am feeling positive!!



tonight,
i shall have festivities at my house.

in order to say so long to people.


i hope kacchan and my other flatmates dont mind!




kacchan is currently in the lounge packing up my things like my sewing machine

whilst i am lazily in my bed.
talking to heidi.




I MUST PACK UP MY ROOOM.

re-colour

black.


im excited.





soon it will be back to normal...




work is taking over my life.

and i fear i will not see people before i leave.







two of my dear classmate friends have left for overseas already.


more to follow.


(including me)






japan

4days





FOUR

this is quite insane


im excited.

and also really scared.

and nervous!




tomorrow,
i get to pick up my passport from the embassy!


with the visa in it!!!
(i hope!!!!)




this is very very good news.


which means i go for atleast 6 months.



infact.
i have even purchased my ticket home.


12th of may.

get excited guys!



(except not too excited, because i hope to extend this to november)



i dont know how i am going to pack up my room in such a short amount of time.


i have far too many belongings.
its quite shocking.
and i cant part with any of them!


gasp.




i keep going to familiar places.

thinking i may see you there.


then i realise this is not possible.





as you are not here.

for hannah

hannah,
requested a blog.


sooooooo

here it is!

just pour you.




today,
mel
hannah
and rose all have an exam

zam
zam

zammm


the last of the last!



and then fun times to be hadd.




last night,
eleanor made me a delicious dinner.

it was amazzzing.
with beautiful decorative settings.


(roses, fairylights and candles)


i also had a few drinks with some familiar and some new faces.
added to the delightfulness of the evening.



today.
i am not at work
(YUSS).


and bumming round has been taken to a new level.


i must must must go to uni and the embassy.

must.

and get some new stockings.

ahhgrhr.


i love stockings.

looove.



this time next week will be the day before i go to japaaaaaaan.

wtf.





so sooon!!!

a sliver of freedom

have you ever heard me speak of how much i dislike the song
'party in the usa'?

mainy i think its the miley.



matthew hope
(from artisan guns)

did a cover of this.


AMAZING.


this is itttttttttttt.







anyways.
i like it.

which suprises me.



it actually doesnt.

because if he covered anything
its highly likely i would love.



i managaed to get myself the day off tomorrow.

which is good.

there is many things to do.



many many.

but how do you choose what gets priority.






work soon. boo.





i created a new blog
called
'delightfullywonderous'

where i post snippets of some lovely lyrics.
(and a video if it is to be found...)

sooo cheeeccckkkkkk it out.
its all linked to this page also.




last night.
hannah came over.

she brought with her lots of delicious treats.


and kept me company.

and that was really really nice.



i feel so verry verrrrrry bad.
as she was meant to be studying.

and she didnt get anything done.


(so thankyou for sharing the evening with me)







and also,
you.

youu.


yooooooouuuu.




your silence has pretty much ruined me.
so,

thankyou for that.

slightly scary

japan!




its so soon!!!


and i am freaking out slightly.


about it all.






mainly the visa thing.


and trying to see everyone before i go.



and do little things like pack etc


and clean up my flat
(which, at this stage will take me WEEKS).




i'm up early today!!

i set 3 alarms instead of the usual two.


and i set them early.

just incase i slept in.





i STILL havent made a trip to the supermarket.

so for breakfast again i am enjoying a delightful cup of water.



i could go to the supermarket as we speak.

but that would just be too practical.




i cant keep these eyes of mine open.



how am i going to stay awake for the 9hours of my shiiiift.
and then
party!!!



thats what id like to know....





i finally put some petrol in my car yest.

poor rufus had been without it for too long.





also,
in the last 35 mins
i have decided


that

somethings are just not worth thinking of.



even if it hurts to not think about it.




or if it hurts once you remember.






all in all


thoughts are gone.


for now atleast.





AHSHGHJDGLJJJDLSKX!

except they so arent!!


even now i just stopped writing.


and it was in the back of my mind.







this is going to be much harder than i thought.....

late

fock.






its 11.57



and i start work 2 minutes ago!!!









i cant believe i slept through my alarms.





again!!!!!!!!!



DHFGHZGFJLFNEWDJFKDFIRWNFMXI!!!




and i tried to have cereal for breakfast

and i only have a drop of milk.

and it was off.




and none of my flatemates have milk to borrow.



oh,
the sadness of life.


i also have no bread.


or anything really.




because i have had no free time.

because work has filled my life.



i finishes at 11.30 last night.

it almost killed me.





my phone is also about to run out of battery.


but i cant find my charger
boooo




and i NEED to put petrol into my car before work.


but i hate hate hate going to a petrol station without someone else there



its like a phobia i have....





but.

i must go to work.




ajhhgfgfsfdk.



lets PAR-TAY tonight though!

destination tokyo

yesterday evening

i went to clooney,

on sales st


with hannah and ties,
to have a drink with ties' cousin


ties also finished his exams yesterday.


so he understood the feeling of freedom...


haha.



i decided to celebrate. by purchasing a delicious cocktail


i open the menu,
and the first cocktail listed is


'destination tokyo'

like wholey crap.

so fitting.


needless to say,
i had to purchase.



wasnt as amazing as i had of hoped for.
but was still deliciously good.




we went to neighbourhood

matt and liam joined

and then to the dominion
to see mel

and she cheered me up with marshmallows!


so adorable she is.


then we all ventured back to my flat.
and had a cup of tea.



mmm
tea.




prior to this eventful evening,
hannah and i had niced hang time.


photos arent working...
(i think my card reader may be broken...)
GASP


and i dont recall where exactly the cord is.


tomorrow?
yes.



tomorrow.




i may go to sleep nowish.










work tomorrow.


boooo.





feel free to visit me.

i would actually really loves it.




lonely times work is.

continual thoughts

i wish things were simple



and
(people were)
easy to understand



although i know,

this would make life boring.




but

maybe things would work out better?


but then,
also maybe they wouldnt...









smile once more.

tell me i didnt ruin this......











it would ruin me

lovelycompany

today.


i have finished exams.


zam zam zam

over!





hannah and charlotte have decided to join me in celebrations
jessie will come soon maybe



i have cut ties with all other friends.

temporarily.



pushipushi we ate.



delicimo.

we are currently playing hair.

i like this.

because they are doing my hair....



i wish they would also dye it,
its well overdue.



they both also dont want me to dye it.


lies.



lucy agrees.


luce, i decided to start a group called
'you'll never see my natural hair colour again!'


will you join it?





yesh she says.....





tomorrow i start full time work
for two weeks.

blaaaah...












goodbye for now.

the last of the zamms

nerves.



fill my body.

a sick feeling.




i dont want to go to this exam.



i should be enroute right now.



but im not.

i know nothing.
what will i do?




damnitt.


going.





going.



















almost gone

pastseven

its past seven already





like seriously.

where the shiv has the day gone?





anthro is tomorrow.




gasppppp.



i have yet to even look at the notes.


(i should have gone out last night damnit!)

repeat of excessive caffeine?



i think not.





tomorrow.

i will
celebrate



the end of exams!!!





at my house

in the sun!
(yes please)




so come.
do.

i even prepared delicious eats.
(have the intention of preparing should i say)

and got some bottleys of wine and beer.



so come come and lets have a rememberring time.




i am planning the aftermath of my last exam
instead of studing for it,




this is not goooooood.



to
study
i
must
go

darkness

its getting dark....




luckily im not scared of the dark

















but actually


i am

overr

over

overr


overrr




overrrrrrr.



happy happy happy happy.










no sleep.
no doze.

riiiight?!


blaaahh.


just happy.


although it didnt go the bessst.
it went.

and is gone.



bye ellen!!
thanks for paying attention to the lectures i attended and putting them in the exam.
ill send you a postcard from japan!!!!



boooya.

music.
is all that is needed to make life complete.

ohh.

today.

is the day.



for twoseventy.


this is how it stands....


study:
zero

sleep:
minimal



well on track to having a very successful day.
as you can tell.....




blaah.

so sleepy.



and all i can think of is having a delightfully long sleep.







its quarter to seven.

and i need to go to uni


to get some
mean
extreme
cramming into me



then two more days.

until an everlasting holiday.



except work fills my life for a while.
but thats ok.


because theres always time.




this isnt true.


there is never time.





it slips away

drip




drip















drip

time. or a lack there of

time


is dripping by.

quite slow.



but oh so fast.



no time.

no time.





i cant write.

in the fear ill be heard.




but thoughts are about