i am sad

but also extremely angry at myself.


i lost my february pay.

almost directly after recieving it.



i have a feeling that its burning in the hakuba rubbish dump by now.
as some one may have mistaken it for rubbish.


as i left it on the floor in my friends room.



and guess how much it was? $1400.


do you know how much i could have purchased with that.
or how many hours of karaoke.
i could have hired a personal chef for a whee while to create me vegetarian food.


but mainly, i was going to
a) buy a computer - very needed
b) get my hair straightened
c) buy an slr - becasue ive wanted one for so so so long
d) get a tattoo
e) etc etc etc



i know its stupid to keep thinking of these things.

but its just so hard.


it also doesnt feel real.

like, who is stupid enough to lose that amount of money!



























me.