hello sunshine. for real.

today its happening.


sun.





finally.



everything was begining to be just different shades of grey.










but now.

now things are looking up.

hello sunshine

i wish i could say this.

hello sunshine.


runis the park plans of the day.
probably just as well.

i would have napped.


i need a nap.

but must finish atleast unit one of jap study.
idealy i would do two by the end of the day.

but one will suffice


i have been here
(uni)
since the early hours of the morn


many different spaces i have ventured to,

to find the right study environment.


its never found.

i need a computer.
but dont want a lab.
or a laptop.

i want a space.
that isnt the library
(too silent)
or the commons
(too crowded and loud)


the arts caf seemed to do the trick for a bit.
but distractions keep arising.


i can tell you all about rice.
and how its an invented tradition.

would you like that?
probably not.


again i cant concentrate.

i need to kick this.




now for you i have an amazing cover
of an amazing song
by two amazing gals


get excited!!!!!!!!!!!

lack of colour (part 2)

i cant focus.

this is a problem




i need to do many many readings for
jap and anthro.....


but my mind is focused on other things.



and is not persuaded easily.


i have missed so much of the content for 270.
which makes me think this exam will be impossible to succeed in.


when i start studying for anthro,
i know im going to find the same thing.



nerd club tonight....
should i go?


potentially the last time to establish connections with japan
before i go to japan.


but hmmmmm.

life is unsure.







can we?
shall we?

adventure together
in the happiness
and the light


soon?

lack of colour

there are no buses.

why not?
this ruins lives.

it really does.




there was a man at the bus stop.
who kept swearing and grunting towards me.

needless to say, i wasnt the friendliest person back to him.
uuugrghh.


now i am at uni.

determined to study for exams.

two left.
and im gonna pass 'em.


today i went to kathmandu to prepare for my travels


the guy who worked there gave me a huge huge discount.
and for that i am very greatful!


he was also VERY helpful,
and for that i am also very greatful!



visa things are screwed up.

and i dont know if ill get it on time.

still havent got final confirmation of this job.
so i dont know what to dooo!!!



maybe just go for 3 months?

no money to survive though.


this isnt good.


not at all.



but still going to japan
so
happy
happy
happy



maybe ill do some readings now.

infact. i will do some readings now.....


yes....

part one

for lucy

(provided it works...)

to remind you of fun times and home.






and also.
hot.

(you know what i mean!)




after your much help, it worked!
the reason it didnt work before was because it wasnt in html mode?
blaaaah to meee.


anyways,
enjoy poppit!

halloween and happiness

general things are still unknown and confused.

but not nearly as much as i thought they were.


so,
this is good right?

a form of happiness has come.
as linguistics has finished.

and i definately passed.
the course.

without a doubt.


a celebration.
indeed.

after marketing, im glad i can feel ok about uni again,

for now atleast.

except hannah and i were both 'shitting bricks'
(her words not mine)
over the phonetics and phonology section.


what the shiv is a fricative?!?!

15% gone right there.
good bye A+.
not that the rest of the exam was perfect enough to get me an A+,
far from it infact,
but just vocalising how its actually not a possibility.




tomorrow. is. the. last. day. i. have. to. apply. for. a. visa.

shitsticks.

i left it veeeery late.

rose doesnt know if she wants to do a working holiday anymore.



yess yess you do rosie!!


and i have decided we both do. and we will both have fun.
tearing up japan on a working holiday visa.

it was halloween.

dress ups are necessary.

craazy times.
but,
fun?

these are examples...

maybe a clarification

me
not wanting to go to japan
was a strong feeling i had.

there was so much confusion
because i was confused.

are you part of the reason i find it hard to leave?

yes.
but only a part.


it was hard for me to imagine myself in a foreign land

when i didnt really know who myself was.



various things and actions cluttered my mind.
and i have been thinking and thinking
trying to de-clutter.


now.
well, recently.
i feel maybe i know myself more.

and i want to go to japan.
wholeheartedly.


although there is no doubt i will miss you.


see see.
no full reason.

so now all is clearer?

right....?



exam tomorrow.
freakking me out

zero time. zero time.


remind me to never drink again.

how can things just disappear from life.

regrets?
i dont think so....


tell me what happened
for i am confused.

tres
tres
tres
confused.


happy nice time?
always.




..........'hang out again?'